12062010b.

went back through my planner.

saw how quickly things dissolved.

saw how quickly one can forget.

saw how quickly a life can change.

saw how quickly you entered.

saw how quickly i accepted.

(before)

saw how instantly you blossomed.

saw how instantly we then grew.

saw how instantly i began to warn.

saw how instantly it was dismissed.

saw how instantly things changed.

(during)

saw how suddenly i recoiled.

saw how suddenly you seized.

saw how suddenly it was over.

saw how suddenly all was lost.

saw how suddenly i could see.

(after)

12062010a.

i'm beginning to understand travel.

your kind of travel.

the travel where you sit by a seat;

looking out. present*, but not.

*only ever slightly present;

only ever partially there.

you only have a bag. you only have that.

but it's not limiting. it's all that you need.

not necessarily all that you want.

you're headed to a destination.

that's what you want. that location. the things there.

the people. the noise. the lights. all the beauty.

i can handle that. i can even begin to understand that.

hell, i wouldn't want you with me (if we were to trade places)

could you understand that, love?

that i don't want you to be in these places.

even though i adore when you fill my spaces.

---

places longing, things desired.

the mount, holding my hand.

scaling the stairs. marveling at the city. loving the clouds.

the coffee shoppe, in my arms.

sipping foam. smiling at rosettas. laughing at lids.

the seat next to me, resting my shoulder.

tired eyes + sighs. watching a movie. longing for home.

---

you'll maybe understand,

one of these days.

i've tried to understand.

maybe one of these days.